Adam and Ayah pre celebration

I m still in running here n there this 2 weeks, but I knew family come first
I had to leave my house at 6.30am,left adam on the bed.

Today we when out 4 dinner, I m looking for some stuff for the party too.
I bought small cake for both of them..

It is not a 'money can buy anything' issue,
It is a loves from me to both of them.

Muhammad Adam on his 365 days

Today is Muhammad Adam's 1st Birthday.
I m taking him with me to cyberjaya.
He seem enjoyed the new school..

Other than pray and syukur to Allah s.w.t
I've make my promise to him, not to leave him on his birthday and sing only a birthday song to him.

he like the song..
Maybe he might not understand the meaning and how people dedicate the song to him

Other than the party preparation,
The love, all secure.. and ensure his full developments
I don't have any idea on what would be the best gift for his birthday.
What I know I kuv u Adam, mak really luv u..

a day in cyberjaya..

Sejak malam tapi hidup penuh emosi dan sensitif,
Sampai rumah jam 9.30pm
Adam dah tido..
Mr Husband tgh lepak2

Ini baru satu hari balik lambat.
What is 3 bulan hari2 balik lambat?

Adam kenal mak dier lagi tak?

Rumah saya terurus tak?

Makan pakai keluarga saya terbiar tak?

Adam saya dapat fresh home food everyday tak?

Sangat melampau kah fikiran saya sekarang?

Saya sangat tertekan secara emosi dengan perubahan yg akan berlaku.

Walaupun famili saya kecil (mr husband/mrs wife/mr adam)
Saya sangat sayang famili saya.
Saya tk boleh berpisah dgb sesiapa dari mereka.

never been to Ipoh

Out of sudden, Mr husband had to attend one event in ipoh..
He asked me to accompany him, ok jer la kan..



Adam the most happier boy...

what is going on now...

I never thought taht my smile will put me into debt
i never thought that my life would resovles to emptiness

i never thought that in order to live,
i have to bear so much pain,
i never thought that my innocent would stray me away from reality...

i never thought that everything's has come over me...!!!

March Again...

Sangat la, satu minggu... hampir ker minggu yg seterusnya..

saya sangat 'sibuk' with all my life, family and family again,

Maulidur Rasul kali ini agak kurang memberi saya kesan untuk menghayati
hari keputraan nabi Muhammad s.a.w ...

last 2 years, 2008 saya warded due to miscarriage, 18th March 2008
last year, 2009 saya warded due to c-ser for Adam, 19th March 2009,
this year, 2010 saya meyibuk-yibukkan diri si majlis perkahwinan adik sepupu saya
Noorazwin Salim & Satar Hassan, di Cheras Bandar Tun Razak.

dia antara cousin pompuan yg paling rapat selain Liza & siti (adik saya)
teringat zaman kecik2 dulu, kalau pakai baju pun fesyen ala2 sama gitu...
Tk byk pn yg mampu di bantu, just tolong awin (nama manja cousin saya) siapkan
hantaran dia, fuh... sentuhan mengunakan bunga hiduo a.k.a fresh flower..
Harap Awin puas hati la dengan touch up yg tk seberapa tu kan..
masih amatur lagi... tapi saya puji pilihan awin yg mahukan tema hijau ..
sangat lembut tetapi menarik...

Jumaat, Majlis Nikah,
Malam Jumaat Majlis Berinai, Sabtu Hari Persandingan mereka..
Walaupun, event dalam dewan besar ber kipas bagai.. cuaca mmg panas kan...

Ahad pagi, Majlis Pertunangan sepupu saya yg berkerja di Sabah
abg aloi a.k.a org yg paling rapat dgn saya sewaktu zaman kanak-kanak,
dia dah saya anggap seperti abang saya sendiri, walaupun berstatus cousin..
lagipun, semua cousin saya anggap seperti adik-beradik, supaya saya punya rase
sama seperti org yg punya ramai adik beradik, maklum la purata kami cousin2 ni
mmg mempunyai adik beradik yg paling maximum dua = 2 jer..

Saya seronok sebenarnya dapat berkumpul sekali sekala, selain time raya jer kan..
lepas ni raya lagi ramai la yg 'absent' kat kg, sebab ader reason = balik beraya di rumah mak mertua..hahahha what a life...

sejak balik dari 3 hari du hujung minggu yg sibuk itu,
adam....
Adam kena demam merah..a.k.a campak tapi bukan jenis yg mcm selalu kita tgk tu..
pelik nyer dier merah2 mcm ruam satu badan...
mlm selasa, saya rase tak sedap hati tgk keadaan dier yg makin serius....'
calamine lotion tak membantu, ubat allergy pun tk membantu...
jam 10.10 min mlm, saya request kat Mr Husband nk balik Muar...
di saat itu, saya terpikirkan mummy... itu la sumber rujukan saya..
tapi waktu tu, saya betul2 perlu seorg ibu di sisi...
Nasib baik Mr Husband setuju...

jam 1. pagi saya sampai..

So far selepas seminggu saya habiskan waktu bersama Adam,
merawat Adam dengan cara traditional - bukan bomoh2 eh...
saya rase confident balik KL semula ... bawa Adam bersama..
walaupun, belum sembuh sepenuhnya...
saya Berdoa Adam akan cepat pulih seperti sebelum nyer...
mungkin kah sebelum tarikh hari lahirnyer yg pertama...
Insya'Allah, semoga Allah s.w.t mendengar doa saya...

when adam want to be a blogger too...

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Bersama adam berhujung minggu...

Selepas meniti hari-hari di awal tahun 2010 yang penuh dateline ni...
kami sekeluarga (saya,suami saya & anak saya).... telah bersetuju untuk meluangkan masa bersama-sama, cewah cam sebelom ni tk der mase bersama jer kan ..
tak der la, seblom ni byk masa terluang diisi dengan aktiviti bersama lebih daripada 3 org...
termasuk la atok, nenek, pakcik makcik dll.....



Lokasi yang dipilih - The Curve & Ikano Power Centre kerana faktor jarak antara rumah dan lokasi...



masa - 12am sedang elok utk makan tghari sampai la 6.30ptg...



makan di Ikea...

a friend... few friend... all friends.... is always a friend....

Salam satu Malaysia... hahaha since when i m using it... not really,
but since everyone around me keeps saying it...

Hah... a friend... few friend.... old friend... all friends... yes...
the truth is friends is always there.. with or without ur concern...

I m so excited to what had happen to me last nite,
keep browsing the FB.... surfing.... and surfing...
i met few of my school mate, seniors.. and classmate from even a Sekolah Rendah...

and how amazing is, they really looked different ... its been about 10 - 13 years...
yup of course la different tak kan nk sama jer kan...

some of the are now not in Malaysia...
married with 2-3 kids...
Motivators... Lecturer....
and businessman....

owh, what a world.... look at me now...
just about to start my 2nd phase of my living....

What make me keep alive is the spirits...
they still befriends until today...
we now can still share some thought.. ideas.. and even keep in touch...
this is live, what goes around comes around...

yea... i appreciate every friendship....
to all friends out there.... u guys are great friends....



just to share... pictures not in a line with friends issues...
it just a small project for my Abang Aloi 's Engagement this Sunday...





will update the real event day...

Red Zone ....

it s not easy to explain..

i didnt mean to make anybody uneasy with such statements...

but what needs to be said needs to be said...

let them 'think' and let their brains tinggle a little....:)

terasa.....

Tumb up everyone....

Hari ni tak tau kenapa, terasa sangat dengan keadaan yang berlaku depan mata,

dari minggu lagi 'terasa' perasaan mcm ni, sejak 'tertinggal' tu,
semalam g makan tengahari, ader jugak rase terasa,

kenapa tk leh hilang rasa pedih kat dlm hati ni eh,
kenapa asyik terasa jer ni,
nk kater period dah sudah... tak der plak PMS bagai...

mungkin ader sebab yg aku sendiri blom pasti...

one of my friends kata maybe diorg nk pay a respect and professionalism in work...
tapi tak kan sampai nmpak kita buat2 tk perasan, n withot saying gud morning ker... hi ker...
cam dulu-dulu....

boleh berjanji makan sama-sama... bercerita sama2,
menhulur bantuan sama-sama, paling tidak pun, senyum , andai abis bahasa dibibir...
mungkin nmpak cam masalah paling kecik ni , masih ade sampai sekarang tk approve friends, tapi
aku sendiri tak tau kenapa aku terasa sangat....

bila kita bertentang mata, mata - mata ini akan lari seolah2 melarikan diri atau mungkin menyembunyikan sesuatu,

aku juga bukan insan sesempurna malaikat, tapi aku bersedia untuk terima teguran atas kesilapan yang mungkin telah melukakan hati mereka,

namun aku tidak pandai hidup dalam pura-pura, seolah2 aku tidak faham perubahan yg berlaku,

marah mungkin, mula menbenci mungkin, mula meluat mungkin, tapi sampai biler...
aku perlu bersama berkawan bekerja... dan mahu ingin rase ikhlas bersama dgn yg lain,

aku ingin, tapi tak tau nk mohon maaf dgn siapa?
aku mahu, tapi tak tau nk mohon ampun bagaimana..
aku tk tau biler aku nk mintak maaf....

sebab aku takut ini akan lagi menambahkan jurang yg ader...
layak ker aku untuk jadi sebahagian di kalangan mereka...

Mungkin ini hanya mainan perasaan kan..
atau mungkin petanda yg aku tidak perlu ader dengan 'dunia' ini

aku perlu lebih terbuka untuk terima keadaan yg sebenar
menerima hakikat peng'asing'an yang mereka cuba tunjukkan..

insya'Allah,
aku harap sgt perkara ini berlalu dan tidak menganggu perjalanan seharian disini setiap hari..
aku perlu hidup yg lebih mengembirakan hati dan keadaan yang lebih baik...

Adam after 10 month...

My little Son Shine....

makin hari semakin mencabar jadi mak kepada Encik Muhammad Adam Bin Mohd Farid ni...

dah pandai mimik...

dah pandai mengeleng kepala kalau tk nk...

berguling cam guli time nk pakai diaper..

Weekend at Kuala Gandah

Last weekend, once Mr Husband finish clean up the house at Damai, i proposed... i repeat, proposed, to spent a nite at Nurain's house in Lanchang...
Yeay.... we did it.. Adam visiting mak teh...

The house is actually in the IKBN Temerloh, so when we 1st enter the gate, need to drop the IC, register, like we are sending Adam to a Hostel, ...hmmm, maybe next 15 years lagi kot...

a very pleasant area, greene, and.. its a Quarters..
even myself n mr husband not a Govt Servant, tonite we experience the 'stay' feeling...
in a Govt Quarters.
Haa.... next day, a sunny Sunday... Nurain brought us to Kuala Gandah, to 'meet' the elephant,
we when to Deer Land, ... Adam enjoyed the trip much more then his parent,

Adam, 1st time in life, touch the Sun Bear, Deer, Elephant, and many more, i forgot to recharge the camera....

Adam loves all the 'furry' animal

of course all know what to be the best lunch in Pahang... the famous ikan patin masak tempoyak la kan...

Sedap .... tapi pedas..... must try the Ais jagung..

January 2010

january's ending....

Nothing much exciting happens..

May Allah always bless my family,
my heart feeling getting worse... and i done know why,
when i kept thinking there's nothing... yet i am still worry..

Ya Allah ampunilah dosa-dosa hambamu ini,
dosa ku dan suami ku, ibu bapa dan adik ku,
Aku mohon kau lindungilah kami sekeluarga dari sebarang kecelakaan,
berilah kami kemudahan dalam menjalani hidup seharian...

Ya Allah ya tuhan yang Maha mengampuni dan Maha Mengasihani,
tenangkan la jiwa ini, untuk menempuh hari-hari esok,
Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin...

Something... somewhere...

need a break ... or need to break....

haha... i dont feel like am going to 'break' at the moment,
it is just a 'tired' feeling..
or it is just an emotional issues...
or perhaps too much frustration.... maybe...

i need new fresh air...to filter all the ruined mode...
maybe yes.. may be no...

some had betrayed me, some had smiled to me..
some had hates me more.. some had support me...

but for one reason, its only me here.. to decide..
yes friendship never end.. but what make u strong is sometimes is who made u cried...

Adam's 1st family holiday to Langkawi...

A langkawi trip a.k.a 1st family trip with Adam...

enjoyed the moment with my mother,
its like a pay day for her coz baby sat Adam for about 2 weeks.

2009 entires...

hehheh.... it's been a year.... i 've betrayed my own promises to myself ...
wanna be a good blog writer? or at least a discipline blog writer.....

few things happen....
few events happen....
few love, sad, anger .......etc....

i m trying to summarize all in one...
aci tak?

i made my word to give a 'commitment' to this blog in October...
Worse is - Celcom Berukband rosak since 22nd October 2009...
Macam maner i tk bengang with this problem...

then, busy with Fauzi's wedding...

then with the IEYD Convocation .....

the meeting .... the planning.... the team....

Then ain & wan' wedding












































Then... after ain's wedding..... Raya Aidil Adha, poor thing Adam has to be at Muar with my mum..

My husband have to lead the family to Terengganu for Ain's Reception on the same date as the Convocation day... taking the consideration of a sacrificial to family and work...
we've decide to 'give' Adam time to be spent with his Tok Mak.....
while my self busy with the planning..preparation..and event day..

majlis konvokesyen IEYD kali pertama

nak wat cmner..kdg2 kite terlepas cakap..kite tak sedar seme tue boleh mengguris hati org.Sometime ,kite rs kite terlalu betul untuk semua perkara..tanpa kite sedar kite da buat banyak kesilapan..so..mgkin kite bole belajar melalui seme tue..nxt time..jgn buat lg kan..

B L A C K A N D W H I T E

one day, 2 cats have an important appointment...

2 cats... black n white...
black has his own meeting plan...
white with his own blind date...
aha.... black n white is actually dating with the same 'dating friend'...

with all the arrangements... with all the plannings... settings....
the 'dating friend' felt unfair... which one to be with...
black or white....
if black.... can be seen day time....
if white... can only be seen on nite date...
... what if we have one after another...
either black first .. than white.... or both.. so that it can be balance
and fair enough for everyone...

and this is how we see... black should be at the right time to be seen...
and white also has its time to be seen ....

and do u agree on the important of black n white to be place at the right time and place...
because .... it can easily make us confuse and ... felt unfair....


what is this lor... am i dreaming...? may be this is the ending story for today....
why to black n white....

i cant change the direction of the wind, but...

i can adjust my sails to always reach my destination....

masa berharga yang diluangkan amat saya hargai...
i may not have enough sleep time...
i may not have much time to watch movies whenever i like...
i may not have spent my time for rejuvenate my body for spa...
or else...

but maybe i can find my own satisfaction with all surrounding....
may it be... my families..
may it be ...my friends...
may it be ...my own collection..
may it be... or may not be...

motivational... factors...
immunization to my spirit ... to at least deserve better...
this is why human a built with... element of emotion...